Rest in sleep
Close the chapter now love
because there are some wishes that I want to make on
those tattered pages
but they never fail
to tear me up instead
Just close the book now.
Because that memory that I wanted to paint of you
The time you took me
with a smile and stole conversations
that you now leave fond memories of
are cutting the insides of my soul
I can no longer help
if I am depressed
or just human
There comes that time
that I wanted to call you
I wanted to tell you how I wish we talked more often
I wanted to tell you
how you got the best name
the best features
the best voice
that I hardly now remember but wish I did
I wish I did now.
What came and took you away from here love
What made you so brave and so faulty at the same time?
When you look in the mirror
did you even see your face?
Did you see your hands that tell you
someone should be by your side
that someone should be by your bed?
And that those pills you take
should have never piled up in your head
That you were meant for something great
for something better
I'm sorry the world stole you
I'm so sorry she swallowed you whole
There is a bullet in my head
for all the days that I remember you here
The ammo is sinking into my bloodstream
and my heart is a defence mechanism
I never want to fight.
Someone is shoving an arrow down my throat
and I am keeping poetry that I never want to show.
But my eyes have since been locked on the front door
that I now only wish you would walk right through.
Just one more time.
So I made other wishes like
I wish I knew how to save you, I wish I kept you safe
and if it was up to me
you do not deserve anything less than a kiss upon your brow
but they only flow like paper boats on a running stream
they only disperse like words thrown into a vacuum space
that no one knows, where no one comes close
So tonight, I'm tearing out the pages and all your memories.
I'm pressing them into my veins
Because the only thing left to do
is to learn how to breathe underwater
So when I am praying tonight
I hope the sleep finds you well
I hope your books have all been read
and I hope it didn't hurt.
I hope it wasn't too cold
and I hope it didn't burn.
And I hope when they cried for you to "Rest in peace"
I really hope they meant it is time
you come back.
You should come back
Copyright of Jane ℒoo