Rest in sleep


Close the chapter now love

because there are some wishes that I want to make on

those tattered pages

but they never fail

to tear me up instead

Just close the book now.

Because that memory that I wanted to paint of you

The time you took me

with a smile and stole conversations

that you now leave fond memories of

are cutting the insides of my soul

so deep

I can no longer help

but question

if I am depressed

or just human

 

There comes that time

that I wanted to call you

but didn't

I wanted to tell you how I wish we talked more often

but didn't

I wanted to tell you

how you got the best name

the best features

the best voice

that I hardly now remember but wish I did

I wish I did now.

 

I couldn't.

 

What came and took you away from here love

What made you so brave and so faulty at the same time?

When you look in the mirror

did you even see your face?

Did you see your hands that tell you

someone should be by your side

that someone should be by your bed?

And that those pills you take

should have never piled up in your head

That you were meant for something great

for something better

I'm sorry the world stole you

I'm so sorry she swallowed you whole

 

There is a bullet in my head

for all the days that I remember you here

The ammo is sinking into my bloodstream

and my heart is a defence mechanism

I never want to fight.

Someone is shoving an arrow down my throat

and I am keeping poetry that I never want to show.

But my eyes have since been locked on the front door

that I now only wish you would walk right through.

 

Just one more time.

 

So I made other wishes like

I wish I knew how to save you, I wish I kept you safe

and if it was up to me

you do not deserve anything less than a kiss upon your brow

but they only flow like paper boats on a running stream

they only disperse like words thrown into a vacuum space

that no one knows, where no one comes close

So tonight, I'm tearing out the pages and all your memories.

I'm pressing them into my veins

Because the only thing left to do

is to learn how to breathe underwater

 

So when I am praying tonight

I hope the sleep finds you well

I hope your books have all been read

and I hope it didn't hurt.

I hope it wasn't too cold

and I hope it didn't burn.

And I hope when they cried for you to "Rest in peace"

I really hope they meant it is time

you come back.

You should come back

 

Copyright  of Jane  oo

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